Crusaders 2 Abergavenny Thursdays 8 (eight)
Venue: Fields Park
Date: Saturday 6th October
Referee: Clinton James
Conditions: Splendid

The Crus' took to the field against Abergavenny knowing that a win would see them leap-frog above them in the league. The hot tempered manager
Thomas, looking fresh in his new tracksuit, managed to field a strong side, with Budgie donning the gloves to take his turn on the graveyard shift.

Following last weeks win, the lads were well up for the game and flew out of the blocks. After 20 seconds, a cross by Evan was met by Toblerone head Howls, who put a glorious chance over the bar. Worse would follow for the Hit-man on the day. After ten minutes, the Crus took the lead through Lewis Hillier, however I can't describe the goal because I was too busy retrieving a stray ball from the bushes and missed it !

The Crus' were now brimming with confidence and five minutes later young Dan Morris doubled the lead with a great solo goal, his second in two games. The Crus' continued to attack and should have had a penalty when the Thursday's defender handled in the box. The ref deemed it accidental, much to the disapproval of the boisterous home crowd. Strangely, two minutes later he gave handball against the fishcake when it accidentally hit his hand near the half-way line? This typical bad decision set the scene for the rest of the game.

Next came the turning point in the game. On thirty minutes Gilchy senior turned up and it all went wrong. Almost immediately a hopeful ball over the top was being shielded out of play by Fishcake. The Thursday's attacker, frustrated that he couldn’t get the ball decided to man-handle the Fish and throws him out of the way. A clear free-kick to 99% of people. However, the ref unbelievably waved play on and the Thursday's player slammed the ball home. The Crus' went crazy at the ref for such a bad decision but he refused to change his mind. Worse was to follow a minute later when a long ball over the top caught the Crus' napping and Thursday's equalized. Another two-goal lead thrown away in 60 seconds. Manager Thomas now needed the lads to keep it tight until half-time, where a re-group was needed. However, another two goals were conceded, the third following a clear hand-off by the centre forward which the ref again let go unpunished. Perhaps the ref had been watching too much of the rugby world cup?

Half-time came with the lads 4-2 down. A rousing team talk from the incensed Thomas and the boys were ready to get stuck in for the second half. However, the team talk seemed to have got the Hit-man a little too excited. Just after the restart, Dan was sent down the right wing only to be stopped by a handball. The ref waved play-on which certainly hit a raw nerve in the usually placid Dan. Dan proceeds to question the impartiality of the ref, whilst comparing him to the female genitalia. The echoes of his cry are still being heard in the lower sirhowy valley. The ref produced an immediate red card, and Dan left the field to a chorus of laughter. Whilst on the side, he had to confirm to the crowd that he had called him a 'joking' **** and not a cheating **** as we had all thought. He has booked himself on an elocution course so that the next shout will be understood by all.

Down to ten men and 40 minutes left, the damage had clearly been done so Gilch Senior decided to leave. Having been 2-0 up when he arrived, a court injunction has now been taken out to stop him coming within 100 yards of any further Crusaders games. Not alot else happened, apart from Budgie getting injured every time he made a save, and Abergavenny scoring goals. Oh, I forgot to mention that Budgie got injured.

At the final whistle the lads all left the field down hearted. Worse was to follow though, in leaving the field early Dan decided to have a shower and use all the hot water. Not only did we have to play with ten men because of him, but we also had to take cold bloody showers! He did leave a little love letter of apology, but it was not enough to save him from the impending yard of Vale. In taking a cold shower, Budgie went down injured.

Dummy of the match: Dan Howls for the obvious. Closely followed by the ref.

Man of the Match: Borat, kept going until the end and finally made an appearance down the blue.

Please note that no Budgie's were injured in the writing of this match report.